In Memory of Sydney

Some of you may have already heard but on Saturday, December 24th, 2016 at 21 years young, my beautiful daughter lost her life.   She was killed by a drunk driver in a horrific accident, that claimed her last breath and all plans of any future we looked forward to together.

 As the investigation, talk of charges and trial proceedings fill space that I would prefer to remain empty and open for healing, the only thing that make these days even remotely bearable is knowing that while on this earth, Sydney LIVED…and with no regrets!!!
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I was blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of her and all she shared and taught us; her (sometimes) blatant truth, complete and absolute unconditional love and the ability to live life ensuring she, and we, would have zero regrets.
She was able to find the balance in these three core values with little effort because it was what drove her and how she touched each of us so deeply.   I continue to hear stories from friends, family and co-workers how she impacted them and how they now live differently, “for the better” because they knew her.
 

Sydney was a bit of a paradox.   I feel it best to describe her as a whimsical spirit, a purist and a beautiful old soul in a young body.  She loved life and she sought out truth.
Quality time spent with her was the best gift you could ever give Sydney.  She was never into the material things.  She saw things as they were and she called people to see it too. Her honesty, her sarcastic humor, and her beautiful laugh will be greatly missed.
She was a joy to be with. The way she approached life was beautiful and robust.   Everyone who met her fell in love with her free spirit, extraordinary personality and uncanny ability to show unconditional love to all.  Sydney had a way about her that everyone felt they could be themselves around her and tell her anything.   She had a good time doing everything and she made it fun.
“Why tell a lie when the truth is just so much fun!”    This was one of Sydney’s favorite things to say and she most definately lived this one liner!!   And if you debated her on this she would then say something along the lines of “well then you simply need to either change your perspective or change what your doing or hanging with”.  She had a way about her that was contagious.    To have the ability to tell you something that would normally make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy but in fact, she had you smiling and agreeing to how you would work things out differently.

So for me, I have come to realize that for only being 21 years young, in one way or another.. Sydney’s has effected us all.

Below is a poem that was shared at her service and I believe she smiled down upon us as it was received.

 

All is well by Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, we still are.
Please, call me by my old familiar name.
Speak of me in the same easy way you always did.
Laugh, as we always laughed, at the little jokes we shared together.
Think of me and smile.
Let my name be the household name it always was,
Spoken without the shadow of a ghost in it.
Life means all it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
Death is inevitable, so why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, – for an interval very near.
Nothing is past or lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before,
Only better and happier.
Together forever.
All is well.

Sitting here today, looking back over the last 21 years, I am gratefully able to say that we 3, (Aubrey, Sydney & I) lived life beautifully together, developed an incredible bond and have no regrets.   Grieving the moments missed & the ones that will now never happen is hard enough, but to be able to honestly say that I can look back and have only beautiful thoughts of how we handled conversations, the teenage years, kind of moving past “needing momma” (I gratefully say that with both of my girls, I will forever be “momma”.) and migrating into that mentor and friend role, we talked through everything…I am amazingly grateful.   We created a winning formula for the 3 of us to excel as individuals and as family.  Having no regrets is going to be our key to healing.  We were…and still are truly blessed for Sydney will be with us always in our hearts and minds forever.
The bond will never be broken…
“what the caterpillar perceives as the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.”
To my butterfly…

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I would love to hear your stories of Sydney and how she touched your life!